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Denver Nuggets: The Musical

NBA: Denver Nuggets at Utah Jazz
Without the basketball in this picture, this could be West Side Story...
Chris Nicoll-USA TODAY Sports

As I was wrapping up a project on Tuesday, I realized there was a Denver Nuggets game on in a few minutes. I was listening to an old playlist that reminds me of my dad, and this beauty kicked in...

As I started humming along, the lyricist and one of the many voices in my head had a pseudo-conversation. I think you’ll know which one is me.

Sybil: Oh hey, the Nuggets are on in a few. Who are we playing tonight? Was it Utah?

Willie Nelson: On the road again...

Sybil: Oh sh—, is tonight a road game?

Willie: Just can't wait to get on the road again

Sybil: Augh, tonight is a f—-ing road game...

Willie: The life I love is making music with my friends

Sybil: Can you imagine this song in a Nuggets musical? They’re bleakly singing this as they board the bus?

Willie: And I can't wait to get on the road again

Gurn: Seriously, Sybil, what is wrong with you?

Willie: On the road again

Sybil: How many times does he say that, anyway?

Willie: Goin' places that I've never been

Sybil: Like the disparity between this home and road record

Willie: Seein' things that I may never see again

Gurn: God, I hope I never see a road record like this again

Willie: And I can't wait to get on the road again

It’s all gypsies and repetition from there. The rift between home and road records was broad. I knew the home record was a shiny 8-2 after reading Zach Mikash’s great piece about the same and fan involvement on Monday.

I’d not paid attention as closely to the 3-6 away record. Eesh. The Nuggets already had a 10-point loss in Utah this year, the season opener. I was feeling a little trepidation.

Sybil and Gurn were now singing along with Willie while I googled “NBA musical Willie Nelson” to cover my bases on making sure “Nuggets: The Musical” wasn’t already copyrighted. Copywritten. Copywrote. Whatever. I didn’t find evidence of anything but a Spurs Spotify page.

At this point, I was pretty sure of two things. The first is that I’m starting to dread road games this season, maybe even more than I dread hearing the word “Twitter” in a sentence. The second is that the end of act one ends with a pretty enormous musical number starring Nikola Jokic at a future All Star game and David Stern hiding from Adam Silver in the rafters of the arena. Wearing a phantom mask.

It needs work. I’ll get back to you.

I went off to watch the game. As you know, Tuesday only deepened the away-game rift in a nearly-30-point shellacking, as ably covered by Ryan Blackburn. An even 10 home games and 10 road games, and that 80 percent home percentage looks a lot better than the 30 on the road.

They need work. They’ll get back to you.

I went back to my computer, a little dejected, and hit play on that same playlist. I swear, I didn’t do this on purpose. But this could be for the bus trip back. Stay with me, here.


Great home record, crap road record. Which of the following is the surest thing for this season?

This poll is closed

  • 21%
    The home record will stay hot
    (24 votes)
  • 10%
    The home record will fall to earth
    (12 votes)
  • 26%
    The road record will improve
    (29 votes)
  • 19%
    The road record will stay putrid
    (21 votes)
  • 21%
    The musical is truly terrible idea
    (24 votes)
110 votes total Vote Now