clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Manscaping the Denver Nuggets

New, comments

Don't be afraid...

Speaking of fuzzy...
Speaking of fuzzy...
Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

For what it's worth, I'm really proud of you that you clicked on that headline. You sick, sick soul. Let's get through the tough part. I'm coming clean, so to speak.

I manscape. How did this happen? One shudders to think. One day in my mid-twenties, I got out of the shower, looked in the mirror, and saw this:

I knew it was finally time. An hour and a terrified pair of scissors later... no, really, the scissors seemed as scared as I was, things were better. Not great, but better. Why would I subject myself to such terror every few months? Three reasons:

1)   It makes my wife stop saying, "Ew."

2)   I've never understood guys naming their junk, but realized two years ago that if I named mine Kelly, every time I needed to manscape, I could say the words, "I gotta Deforest Kelly." So named. Hello, Trekkers.

3)   I, uh... nope, it's actually just two things.

What the holy hell does this have to do with the Denver Nuggets? I'm so glad you asked. The Denver Post has recently related stories of the Nuggets desire to bring back Darrell Arthur, Jameer Nelson, and Will Barton, and suddenly a few spots are starting to looking a little... crowded. Fuzzy, even. We've got overgrowth at nearly every position. Time to Deforest Kelly.

Point Guard:

It doesn't get much more stacked than this. With rookie phenom Emmanuel Mudiay sure to garner floor time this season, the requested return of Jameer makes the point a little crowded with Ty Lawson still on the team. As many voices as are calling for Lawson's ouster (including my own), Ty is one of the better guards to grace a Denver backcourt, and there is still the possibility Ty is in Denver at season's start. Add second-year man Erick Green to the mix and the fact that Ian Clark will join the Nuggets for Summer League, and the one spot has at least one too many.

Odd Man Out: Lawson, given the pursuit of two other high-minute point guards in the past two weeks.

Shooting Guard:

Though a little less crowded, Barton's possible return makes a threesome at the two spot with Gary Harris and Randy Foye (his deal becomes guaranteed after July 11th) still on the books. Harris could see more play this season if Mudiay hits the floor, as the pairing would certainly give Michael Malone the defensive base he loves to start from. Denver may want to take a risk on the kids, as even a vast leap forward in overall wins simply vaults the Nuggets squarely into the bottom tier of the brutal Western Conference playoffs. Getting the youngsters some reps this season may be the only smart play the Nuggets have when thinking long term. Denver could be on the rise right as several other teams are finally starting to fall in a couple seasons. Oh, and Jamaal Franklin is still on the books.

Odd Man Out: May not need to be one, but Foye could be riding more pine if Barton comes back and enters this season as he exited the last. Franklin may actually be backing up the...

Small Forward:

Barring a fairly sizable trade in which one or both were included, it's safe to say that Denver will look to Danilo Gallinari and Wilson Chandler to fill the bulk of the minutes at this spot in the upcoming season. Both men are tenacious on both ends of the floor, Malone can afford starter's minutes for both, and there may not be room for much more than an insurance policy in the third spot, which Franklin could fill quite nicely.

Odd Man Out: Again, Franklin is expendable but a nice backup, and I hope it's a hell of a deal to lose either of the other two. Let's just not get crazy and put those scissors down for a sec as we'll need our strength back at the...

Power Forward:

Kenneth Faried. J.J. Hickson. Sounds like Darrell Arthur. Don't forget Joffrey Lauvergne. At least one too many amongst this list, as you want to see Lauvergne get some meaningful minutes this season and check out his potential. You have to think that Denver is pursuing Arthur for what his defense brings to the table, which leaves you to wonder which of the other two less-stellar defenders would be the first one to get cut. Double entendre. Imagine how many jokes we could have made if the team name was the Clippers.

Anyway, if it's between Hickson and Faried to see the chopping block, my guess is you'd see them gone in that order. Trade value may play an important role in the reality of how this all plays out.

Odd Man Out: Hickson first, Faried hopefully returning some high value if traded.

Center:

Not as much a logjam here, but still two-and-a-half men...

Jusuf Nurkic looks to see the starter's minutes at the five this upcoming season, with Nikola Jokic slated to join the team this summer as well. Lauvergne could also see time backing up at center, and however you slice it, there's a youth movement in the middle for your Denver Nuggets.

Odd Man Out: Quite probably isn't one, unless "positionless basketball" becomes so suddenly successful in Denver as to render situational big men obsolete. Read: ain't happening. Barring Denver foolishly trading cheap young talent away, these are the cards you're dealt at center.

That's how I'd trim the wookie, my friends, and have probably not paid nearly enough attention to trade troubles, salary implications, and lunar alignments. Which men do you see the Nuggets scaping before the season begins?