‘Twas the day before Christmas, in the Denver Nuggets house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The team on a road trip, always playing with care,
In hopes that another win soon would be there.
And there I was dreaming, all snug in my bed,
Of seats at Pepsi Center, it danced in my head.
Kroenke's Christmas decisions, below the salary cap,
Had just settled our roster for a long winter's nap.
When out on the court there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the aisle I flew like a flash,
Tore open my nachos and a White Allegash.
The scoreboard so sparkly, like new-fallen snow,
Gave the bright 3D intros onto objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a crazed mountain lion, which the crowd held so dear.
And a straight-talking coach, so easy to like,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Mike.
More rapid than eagles, his players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"On, Gallo! On, Manimal! On, Joffrey and Barton!
On, Mudiay, Nelson, whoever is startin'!
To the top of the standings! Please run with the ball!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the defense, the players they flew,
With a cohesive plan, and Jusuf Nurkic, too!
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and paws of that mountain lion goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
From the rafters, mascot Rocky brought a ball he had found.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
A tail like a lightning bolt, and eyes black as soot.
He coiled with the ball, flung it over his back,
And it sailed through the hoop, and he clapped with a crack.
The crowd-how they twinkled! His antics made them merry!
They were all looking forward to a better January.
With some home games to play, and experience to show,
And that third uniform, just as white as the snow.
A few players return, the Nugs play with some teeth,
And the fans, they encircle the court like a wreath.
And the Stiffs far and wide, they could watch on the telly,
Pepsi Center shook when they cheered, like a bowlful of jelly!
Now a Blue Christmas Rocky, all dressed up like an elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
The team's play by Spring, getting them back out ahead,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
The future looks brighter, the rewards of their work,
The chemistry's good, and nobody's a jerk.
Sticking together, the guys playing like pros,
And giving a crap, up the standings they rose!
I sprang to my feet, to my team gave a whistle,
And yet again played on the name of Dan Issel.
May good fortune and joy make each Stiff's heart be light,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!
Dear Denver Stiffs,
Whichever holiday you celebrate, and with whomever you are able to celebrate it, my wish for you is that your holiday is filled with love, peace, and joy. Thanks for bringing some of each of those things into my world on a daily basis, strangely, by fighting over the Denver Nuggets. Where the hell is my egg nog and bourbon?