clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Stiffs Shoot-around: Parks and Wrecked

The Warriors may have to deal with Kawhi Leonard back in the Spurs lineup, but to quote the great poet: does it even matter?

San Antonio Spurs v Golden State Warriors - Game Two Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

For the rest of the NBA playoffs, the Stiffs will be making game threads for the nightly games so that Stiffs readers have a place to hang out and watch with like-minded fans. Sign up for an account and join the rest of the Stiffs to talk about tonight’s games and whatever else is going on around the NBA.

Winter decided to make one last comeback - and who doesn’t love a good comeback story - on this the 18th day of May in the great state of Colorado. You know who probably won’t be making a comeback any time soon?

The San Antonio Spurs and Boston Celtics.

Through three conference finals games, the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors have outscored their opponents by a Brazilian points (don’t check my math) and seem destined to meet in the Finals once again.

But fear not! There are still questions to be answered, and game threads to be had. Roundtable!

Be honest - did you watch all of Game Two of the Western Conference Finals?

Daniel Lewis (@minutemandan): No, but in my defense, I was working on NBA Draft stuff for part of it.

Zach Mikash (@ZachMikash): No, in fact I watched very little, just as I did with game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals. These Conference Finals are garbage.

Ashley Douglas (@AshleyNBAHoops): No, I wasn’t able to. However, I can’t say I was altogether urgent about making time to see it.

Gordon Gross (@GMoneyNuggs): Nope. I had to rake the lawn, or shovel the driveway or something.

Adam Mares (@Adam_Mares): Of course. I am a die-hard NBA fan, I watch even when the watching isn’t good.

Without looking, can you guess which NCAA school Bryn Forbes went to?

Lewis: I’m pretty sure it was a school in Michigan.

Mikash: I do not claim to be a resident college basketball expert (the product is awful, don’t @ me), so...Oregon? Why not.

Douglas: I have no idea. The world of college basketball is something I haven’t educated myself on, but I’m going to guess it’s some obscure school in a small town.

Gross: Michigan State, but I only remember that because it was a friend’s trivia question from a previous failure on my part.

Mares: Nope.

Which ‘Parks and Rec’ character is your favorite?

Lewis: I think Chris Traeger is literally the best character on that show.

Mikash: Parks and Rec was so successful because they had so many great characters but I’m a bacon man so I’m going with Ron Swanson.

Douglas: Leslie Knope. She’s so naive and annoying, but her enthusiasm is endearing.

Gross: Ron Swanson. He is the LeBron James of that show.

Mares: I only watched a few minutes of an episode one time. I didn’t enjoy it. Come at me.

Why will the Warriors win tonight, or ... will they lose?

Lewis: The Warriors will win the basketball game tonight because Kawhi can only guard one player at a time. Golden State has Steph Curry AND Kevin Durant AND Klay Thompson AND Draymond Green AND JaVale McGee. Unstoppable.

Mikash: You also forgot my personal favorite Patrick McCaaaaaaaaaaaaw, Dan. If the Warriors are going to lose a game in this series tonight would seem the most likely, but with Kawhi Leonard possibly out, and at the very least not 100%, it’s hard to see the Spurs getting over the top tonight.

Douglas: I’m sorry, I simply can’t get on the Warriors bandwagon. I’m willing the Spurs to win, and I’m hoping Kawhi comes back with one serious score to settle. I believe the Warriors will lose because cheap shots indicate desperation, and Zaza is clearly afraid of Kawhi.

Gross: I expect someone to sprain Kawhi’s other ankle tonight, and for the Warriors to throw a chair in the ring and then suplex him through the announcer’s table before they romp to victory.

Mares: When they play next, the Warriors will win.

What would happen to you if you were forced to spend an hour watching clips of Lonzo Ball with LaVar Ball?

Lewis: I react like that guy in ‘Indiana Jones’ that chooses the wrong cup for the Holy Grail.

Mikash: I have an incessant need to push as many buttons as I can with a person like Lavar, so I would likely take as many subtle jabs as I could until it got out of control.

Douglas: I think my mom would finally get to be right in telling me that rolling my eyes too much would make them get stuck that way.

Gross: I was thinking Raiders of the Lost Ark, Daniel, with the face-melting. But yeah, same basic response. Maybe something from a Cronenberg body horror movie.

Mares: Lavar is the “bad guy” scene from Scarface. People enjoy pointing their finger and calling him the bad guy. Like in Scarface, he obliges by actually being a bad guy but I am amazed at how much people enjoy pointing their finger at him and feeling morally upright about it.

Poll

Which ‘Parks and Rec’ couple is the greatest?

This poll is closed

  • 0%
    Andy and April
    (0 votes)
  • 0%
    Chris and Ann
    (0 votes)
  • 100%
    Ron and Tammy
    (1 vote)
  • 0%
    Jerry and Gail
    (0 votes)
1 vote total Vote Now