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The Twelve Days of Denver Nuggets Christmas

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Celebrating the season with the Denver Nuggets. By the numbers, tongue-in-cheek style.

The Denver Nuggets Dancers. Nine (or so) ladies dancing.
The Denver Nuggets Dancers. Nine (or so) ladies dancing.
Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

I feel as if I should apologize in advance. But...

On the first day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, Ty Lawson, who's number 3.

On the second day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, two hurdled Loves (Kevin), and Ty Lawson, who's number 3.

On the third day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, three French players (ok, one, who we traded to Orlando), two hurdled Loves, and Ty Lawson, who's number 3.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, four falling shots, three French... fries..., two hurdled Loves, and Ty Lawson, who's still wearing 3.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me... FIVE... CHAMPIONSHIP... RINGS!!! (Which would have to start with one. Soon, please. Ahem.) Four falling shots, three French dressings, two turtling Loves, and Ty Lawson, who now has to pee.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, no goose eggs a-laying, the rings (my precious), four falling shots, three French surrenders, two curdled Loves, and Ty Lawson, who's shooting threes.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, seven bench players, six in double figures, that @#$%ing RING, four falling shots, three French toasts, no more Kevin Loves, and Ty Lawson, who's running free.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, a healthy Danilo Gallinari (number 8), seven role players, six swell shooters, five CHAMPIONSHIP RINGS... sigh... four more scores, three French connections, two fertile Loves, and Ty Lawson, we all agree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, nine ladies dancing (give or take seven others - cut some Christmas slack), eight Gallos leaping, seven Shaws a swimming, six slick shots, my rings... MINE! Four score and seven... no, three French ticklers, two girdled Loves, and Ty Lawson, tired as can be

On the tenth day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, double digit winning, nine-plus ladies dancing, eight Gallos driving, seven Shaws not screaming, six shooters shooting, five GOLDEN CHAMPIONSHIP RINGS... Four scores more, three French breads, two Myrtle Loves, and Ty Lawson, our number 3.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, Twin Towers blocking, ten-wins a streaking, nine ladies dancing, eight Gallos popping, seven Shaws a shanking, six shooters shooting, rings for this whole hand, four floppers flopping, three French kisses, t-shirtled Loves, and Ty Lawson, not JaVale McGee...

Whew... Good god, shall we bring this albatross home?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Nuggets gave to me, a magically cohesive team, twin towers swatting, ten times the happy, nine ladies twerking, eight Gallos splashing, seven Shaw smiles, six shooters blazing, just a ring... just one. Not that I won't take the other four. ANYWAY... Four scorers scoring, three French Laundry trips, two Smell-the-Gloves, and Ty Lawson, who has seen almost as much time in these paragraphs as he has on the court this season... Wait, that doesn't rhyme...

AND TY LAWSON, WHO'S NUMERO THREE!!!

Whichever holiday(s) you celebrate, Stiffs... Wishing you the very best of them with your nearest and dearest. Thanks for the gift that is the Denver Stiffs. Happy Holidays!