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Nuggets at Raptors: Oh Canada...(5pm MST)

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The Denver Nuggets go in to Toronto to play the Raptors tonight, and look to end their two game skid and "right" the ship.

If that's possible...

The Particulars:

Nuggets: (13-8)

Injuries: Kenyon Martin (knee, out), Chris Andersen (lower back contusion, out two weeks), Carmelo Anthony (inflamed knee, day to day)

Raptors: (8-14)

Injuries: Peja Stojakovic (knee, out)

Now is the time the Nuggets end their brief two game lo-

/breaths

Ok...lets start this again. Ahem. NOW, is the time the Nuggets end their brief two game losing st-

...you know what. Screw it. Does this REALLY matter? I mean, seriously. All is lost. All is ruin. We might as well just stop playing the games. How long can we endure these losses on the road without three of our front court players? So what if Boston was (mostly) healthy in the last game? No excuse. The Nuggets should have won. Period. No wonder Jon Barry and his receding hairline were laughing at them.

Yes they had a chance to win against Charlotte. Big deal. It matters not, because the Nuggets as we know them will soon perish, and we will be resigned to watching bad basketball, with bad players who are too young to know they are terrible. Woe, woe to the Nuggets fan. Time to enter a darkened room and watch Nuggets highlights on YouTube while you weep softly into your No. 15 jersey.

To add insult to injury we are playing the "Cadillac" of 8-14 teams, the Toronto Raptors. The beasts of the worst! The Monsters of the below average!! No possible way the Nuggets can win this game, so why even try? I mean this is TORONTO! Where few survive to tell the tale, unless they are at LEAST a mediocre team. We all know the Nuggets will fold like a cheap suit and will have to leave Toronto meekly like an Anne Murray tribute band. I shudder to think what the likes of Sonny Weems and Leandro Barbosa will do to our Nuggets. Don't even get me started on Andrea Bargnani, best big man to come out of Italy since Luciano Pavarotti. Let us not forget our old friend Linas Kleiza ... the best eastern European small forward to ever play in Canada.

Game over man! Game over!

So Carmelo may potentially maybe kinda not want to maybe not sign the extension with the Nuggets according to Ken (I've been wrong all summer) Berger. Sure, it may be "convenient" that these rumors only popped up when the Nuggets were playing on the east coast. That doesn't matter. Rumors are true! Every gossip columnist will tell you that. If rumors weren't true, then you'd be saying that Elvis is dead ... and that's just crazy talk.

Those who hold out hope that the Nuggets will play better when fully healthy ... HOPE NOT! Let your heart be filled with dread and terror. Let your eyes see the oncoming locomotive called "fate". The Nuggets, as we know them, are so terrible they should be deemed "Turrible". I will not rest until this team is dismantled and sold on the black market for spare parts and expired baby formula. Never have so few, meant so little, to so many.

My only hope is that our beat down will be quick and painless. I shudder to think of the final score. The nightmares of this two game losing streak will haunt me till my last breath.

Nuggets of Wisdom

Those who do not understand irony are doomed. DOOMED. Here is a lovely article on Carmelo Anthony from Fanhouse (credit to SDcat for finding this) to get you through those lonely hours before the game.

Oppositions take: Raptors HQ

Disclaimer: Post should not be taken seriously