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An open letter to Larry Brown...

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"He has the taste of coaching back in his mouth."

So said Larry Brown's agent who confirmed that Brown has resigned as Vice President of the Philadelphia 76ers. With Coach Brown's agent's permission, I'd like to speak to Coach Brown directly...

Dear Larry,

I know you're not a patient man (evident by you bailing on one team after another and demanding wholesale personnel changes upon arrival at each destination), but for once I'm going to beg for your patience. You see, I know that Chicago Bulls head coaching job looks awfully tempting right now, but may I strongly suggest you consider another destination.

Granted, in Chicago you'd inherit a young, talented collection of players who actually went to college for more than a year, were all coached by the best college coaches in recent memory, are by all accounts high character guys and they would probably listen and buy in to everything you say. As an added bonus, by returning to the Junior Varsity (i.e. Eastern) Conference you could have the Bulls in the Conference Finals after one season and everyone in basketball would be proclaiming you as a coaching genius again. Moreover, after getting the Bulls back to the playoffs so quickly, you'd have the full support of the owner and probably garnish more authority than the GM, who hasn't exactly earned his keep lately.

But I have a much more enticing proposition for you: come back to Denver and coach the Nuggets.

Before you leave this website and jump to something more interesting like PerezHilton.com, please hear me out!

Why would someone as unstable and egotistical as you possibly want to coach in a stable environment with low expectations like Chicago, when you could take the coaching reigns of the most fractious franchise in basketball not named the New York Knicks?

Why would you want to coach for an owner who's notoriously cheap with his coaches' pay (just ask Phil Jackson) and more concerned with his team's profits (just ask Michael Jordan), when you could work for a billionaire who treats his NBA team like a toy and is desperate for an NBA Finals appearance?

Why would you possibly want to coach grounded, disciplined, hard working, decent guys with no egos like Kirk Hinrich, Luo Deng and Ben Gordon when you could coach the most ungrounded, undisciplined, least hardest working, suspect character guys with the biggest egos in the league like Carmelo Anthony, Kenyon Martin and J.R. Smith?

And I'll even throw in Allen Iverson just to make the challenge even greater for you! He wants you back so badly, he actually tears up just thinking about you (watch at the 11:45 mark). Has your own ego been massaged enough yet?

Yes, I know your close and loyal friend George Karl is currently coaching the Nuggets, and he's the only coach in the NBA that had the guts to publicly call out Isiah Thomas for being an idiot after Isiah unceremoniously fired you in New York (after sandbagging you with one of the worst assembled rosters in NBA history). But Coach Karl has given up on his players and they've given up on him. If you don't believe me, just watch their first two playoff games against the Lakers. If they lose two more without so much as one victory in between, it's a near certainty that Nuggets' owner Stan Kroenke will be forcing Coach Karl to resign. What's not certain, and is in fact most doubtful, will be Kroenke's willingness to shell out another $3 to $4 million per year for a coach next season when he has to pay Coach Karl $3 million whether he coaches again or not.

So here's what I'd like you to do for the Nuggets organization, an organization that - may I remind you - gave you your FIRST NBA head coaching job. Before the Bulls put the full court press on you, get on a conference call with Mr. Kroenke and Coach Karl and work out the following gentleman's agreement: after the playoffs are over for Denver (probaly next week), Coach Karl will resign and get a "consulting job" with the team, so that Mr. Kroenke's $3 million investment in Karl isn't a total waste next year. Then, you'll take over as coach and work for free for the 2008-09 season (I think the $40 million buyout you got from the Knicks should cover your living expenses in Denver for one year), and sign on for three additional seasons at whatever your going rate is these days.

This way, you'll get to reunite with Iverson at the apex of his career, coach Anthony after his fifth helping of humble pie (read: five straight first round playoff defeats), inherit the type of defensive center you've always coveted in Marcus Camby, and commandeer a group of characters even you've never had to deal with before. And if you could get THIS team to the NBA Finals, I can assure you that it will go down in NBA history as one of the greatest coaching performances of all time, catapulting ahead of your Pistons' victory over the Lakers in the 2004 NBA Finals.

Larry, please don't be a fool and take that cushy Chicago job when the ultimate challenge lays before you in Denver.

After all, one train wreck deserves another.

Sincerely,

Andrew
Lifelong Nuggets fan