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An Ode to JR Smith From A Kings Fan

Preface: I am a Kings fan.

Star-divide

Hi Nuggs fans. I am a Kings fan, and I adapted a song to express my frustrations with JR Smith.

 

Think Jolene by Dolly Parton

JR, JR, JR, JAY-ARRREEE
Im begging please, don't shoot from 3 pt land
JR, JR, JR, JAY-ARRREEE
Please dont shoot it just because you can
Shooting like you're in a dare
three fingers always in the air
I wanna hit you with my car
Your snarl represents my pain
You get the ball and let it rain
And I cannot compete with you, JR

I talk about you in my sleep
Theres nothing I can do to keep
From crying when you thow it down, JR

And I usually slap myself
when your Coach gets you off the shelf
You don't know what a bad shot is, JR

JR, JR, JR, JAY-ARRREEE
Im begging please, don't shoot from 3 pt land
JR, JR, JR, JAY-ARRREEE
Please dont shoot it just because you can

You could have your choice of shot
but you take the same one like you forgot
please stop shooting 20 3's, JR

I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, JR

JR, JR, JR, JAY-ARRREEE
Im begging please, don't shoot from 3 pt land
JR, JR, JR, JAY-ARRREEE
Please dont shoot it just because you can
JR, Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay-ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH GODDA*%&

 

Anyway, I amused myself at least. I actually think the Nuggets are one of the most entertaining teams to watch and they remind me of the 2002 Kings. Eeerily in fact.

Think about it.

Vlade was a player who had been on successful teams in the past but never really found a fanbase that endeared itself to him. How about Chauncey?

Cwebb was a lottery pick with high expectations, but never really won anything (albeit he was traded a few times). How about 'Melo?

Doug Christie was an embattled veteran, who some people thought of as a cheap player or even a thug in some instances, (not us, that dude was hella nice). How about Kmart?

Peja was a foreign player who took a while to reach his potential. NeNe? Anyone?

Kleiza = Turkoglu

JR Smith = Bobby J (JR > Bobby J)

Birdman = Pollard

Anthony Carter = Mateen

 

I'm not saying our team was better, they do parralel quite nicely though. We only had one shot due to Webbs injury, and it was blown partially by league favoritism and partially by missed free throws. (Moreso the refs though).

 

Anyway, here's to hoping the Nuggets can just run through the Fakers when the WCF starts. Beware of the officials though.

PS: I think this Nuggs team might be better then my Kings of lore.

Write respectfully of your SB Nation community and yourself.

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rec waffle rofl

I remember when we first got JR. He’s pure raw talent with a streak of insanity. He was too crazy to start for us but way too good to not play.

I don’t have the patience for playing bball videogames, so I go for steals every time and dunk on the fastbreak or shoot half court 3s. That’s pretty much JR.

But since we got AI and now Chauncey, he’s developed a combo guard skillset and tried to offset craziness with some team play and defense. He’s shown flashes of brilliance playing the point for us, because he can create a shot but is also now a willing passer. His ball handling just isn’t as good as it needs to be yet.

He was actually one of our most level headed players in last years playoff series versus LA. I have a good feeling about him in the upcoming WCF.

by runningdonut on May 17, 2009 4:33 PM MDT reply actions  

I use the nugs in 2k9

because they made JR into a mini Lebron.

In all seriousness, JR always looks like he is having a blast on the court and the Nuggets make watching fast breaks fun again. I don’t think ht eFakers know whats coming.

Here is the thing. The Nuggets are MUCH better than the Rockets. Dahntay should have a tape of Shane Battier guarding Kobe shoved so far up his brain right now his hair should be made out of film. The Fakeshow lost two games to the Rox, arguably because of mental lapses, but if they find themselves doing that against Denver, they will be down by 40 in a blink.

Simple for the Nugs though, just out-rebound the Lakers and they should get out on the break enough to win. And Chauncey should straight up MURDER Derek Fisher. Partially because I hate him, but also because Derek Fisher couldn’t guard my toenail clippings, let alone Mr. Bigshot.

Mind you, I can’t be friendly if the Kings are ever good again, but I’m sure as hell happy I have a team to root for on the Western side of things.

by VenomySnicket on May 17, 2009 8:13 PM MDT up reply actions  

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The STIFF LIST (as of 8/30 by Andrew)

STIFF #1: J.R. SMITH 
Remember when I wrote that J.R.'s "nine lives may be up"? Well, that was last January. With Denver police looking closely at J.R. allegedly attacking former 14er Damien Lolar at a recent Pepsi Center shoot-around, it's clear that J.R. will never mature and it's time to move him.

STIFF #2: LEON ROSE AND WORLDWIDE WES
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STIFF #4: MARCUS JORDAN
Like father, like son. Last week, His Airness's 19-year-old son tweeted about dropping $50k at the Aria casino in Las Vegas prompting an investigation.

STIFF #5: INDIANA PACERS
Brandon Rush has been suspended five games for violating the NBA's drug policy and 2010 draftee Lance Stephenson was recently arrested on assault charges. Larry Bird sure is doing a great job re-shaping the Pacers' already shoddy image.

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