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THE STIFF LIST (as of 3/8 by Andrew)

STIFF #1: K-MART'S LEFT KNEE
Best-case scenario, K-Mart misses another week or two with a sore knee. Worst-case, he's done for the season with knee surgery.

STIFF #2: RON ARTEST
Nice hairdo. 'Nuff said.

STIFF #3: JOEL PRYZBILLA
The Blazers backup center re-injured his surgically repaired right knee after slipping in the shower. Now we're just waiting for Greg Oden to slip on a banana peel.

STIFF #4: CAVALIERS FANS
Recently set the world record for the largest gathering of people wearing fleece blankets - i.e. Snuggies. Really?! This is worthy of a world record?!

STIFF #5: BOSTON CELTICS
Losing to the pathetic Nets and almost losing to the Wizards is one thing. But to do so at home within a week of each other...now that's an art. I think it's safe to assume the Celtics are going nowhere in this year's playoffs.